you could let it all go

dirty old bathtubs

my sins lie unwashed

clogged up pulled-out hair

violence is under my tongue

wisps of death in stale air

dirty old bathtubs

rotten with a sinner’s sweat

i’m trying to be whole again

with touches and whips

of the same knife’s cut

that tore me open

i’m trying to be whole again

by licking off the blood

of the same knife

i’m trying to be whole again

by being nothing at all

if i swallow enough pills

if i swallow yellow paint

if i let it all go

the day after

old rotten bathtubs

unwashed sins

a girl undone

a girl undone

can never be whole

can never be the wife

old rotten bathtubs

red and angry and bruised

girls

they’re not girls at all

quiet and screaming

girls

they’re not girls at all

note: all art was done by me for this poem